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on call 24/7
if any tumblrs come up to tell you about homestuck, push the dank memes button and all the police will be on their way
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the modern workplace
“i tried to share the memo you sent but you got mad at me when i screenshotted it”
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hardbody door-to-door
hey it’s hardboy again, keepin it plump and tight right on your lawn who has time for the gym, that’s why i’m hustlin beef streetside for a home gym experience for people on the go. use my mass to...
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it’s very subtle
if there’s anything you’re worried about at high levels of american government, those parts are jokes too
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netflix presents
debuting this week on the ‘lix: Anthony Delge: But I Ain’t Worryin’. In his first stand-up special, Anthony doesn’t hold his thoughts back on toilet seats, welfare, dating and what happened to...
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laws and order: child logic unit
in the criminal justice system, there are events which may or may not be crimes, or may not even have happened. children are asked to solve them, and usually they don’t. these are their stories.
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where there’s a kill, there’s a GRAVE
think about it, it’s a nice field that somebody filled with dead people. you could have had picnics in there
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the penitent man shall pass
indy got through the other traps the same way supposed to spell “iehovah” but “i have ho” also worked thought it would be cool to pee into bottomless chasm — hey, found a hidden bridge “wouldn’t it be...
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the team-up franchise
inspired by this actual thing that universal is doing. do you remember when there were old b&w horror movies about the wolfman and the lagoon monster and all that? you probably saw clips of them...
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the entendrant
the theoretical entendricist, seeking new impossible categories of flirtation
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war stories
the way grandpa tells it, it’s like i’m there with him. actually i was there, it was two weeks ago at my birthday party
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everyday magic
it’s small but it made a little positive difference for a lot of people. thank you microsoft or whatever.
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the older gentleman
“in short, viagra would cause your heart to detonate like one of the seismic charges from episode one”
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getting inked
a friend came back from an amazon thing with a temporary tattoo of the amazon smile logo. i told him if he got any static about it, tell them it’s a cool anchor tattoo that didn’t get finished yet...
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in theatres now
from the producers of messed-up evening lousy staycation burdensome holiday arduous honeymoon onerous carousal
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i guess it wouldn’t be titled that
“see, the irony is, a completely black mirror wouldn’t be a good idea! much like the nightmare of a telephone you could keep with you!” hello it’s 2018 and chainsawsuit is back
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huntyr chase: vlogger
“how was i supposed to know people would be upset by it, i didn’t think there would be real dead people inside a morgue”
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